Hannity and Grace: Sleep Aids

February 23, 2009

As a lifelong insomniac, my sleep hours are normally from 1:30 to 4:00 AM. I have accepted the fact that this has a definite adverse effect on my daily life Aside from adding to an already sunny disposition; I am sometimes forced to watch, and even more damaging, listen to some of these ridiculous and blatantly partisan think tanks. Last night was certainly no exception. I began by watching Hannity (I don’t believe it either) for 20 minutes or so and, after growing tired of his close minded rhetoric, I graduated to Nancy Grace, or is it Nancy Drew. I really have to start watching cage fighting.

Hannity’s topic du jour was his objection to the closing of Gitmo-not much of a surprise there. He sounded as if he was preparing for a re-enactment of Bastille Day; where the doors fly open and the prisoners are left to their own devices. I think it is time to let Sean know that Gitmo is not located in the continental United States. There lays a beautiful ocean separating ourselves from these savage detainees. Relax Hannity; I wouldn’t want you to wet yourself.

He began by stating that more than 1/2 of Americans share in his paranoia; of course they do Sean. He went on to say that 5 of the world’s most dangerous terrorists are housed at Gitmo and ironically are world class swimmers as well. He went on to quote his usually fabricated statistics by pointing out that only 21 of the alleged 800 terrorists are being held at Gitmo awaiting trial for war crimes. He isn’t even bright enough to realize when he is making a point for the opposing view. Wait, it gets better. His contention is that should Gitmo close (I love this part), these very same terrorists could end up being your neighbors, in part due to their aforementioned swimming prowess. Are you kidding me? He closed in true Hannity fashion by saying that he had no problem with the use of “enhanced interrogation tactics”. This is after he had a guest who formerly worked at Gitmo portraying it as something close to a Club Med destination. I am willing to bet any sum of money that Hannity has no idea what these tactics are. Enough was enough.

A quick click and I am on to Nancy Grace; the modern day Barbara Walters, really. As with Hannity, Grace’s topic was one of national interest. It is her incredibly annoying interview approach that I take issue with. Allow me to give a couple of examples. Her topic was the tragic and mysterious disappearance of Haleigh Cummings. Somehow, Grace was able to provide a live feed with her interviewing the paternal grandmother of Haleigh. This is where she truly began to shine. She inquired as to the state of mind of Haleigh’s father to which the grandmother pointed out she hadn’t spoken to him since he hadn’t left his tent. Nancy quickly came back with: “Explain“. Explain what?-he didn’t leave the tent, I got it.

As Nancy waited for an answer that was certain never to come; she quickly switched gears by making such an astute observation that it prompted me to stand and applaud. “He must be exhausted”. Time to call it quits Barbara. In typical Grace fashion, she latched on to a specific point and clung to it like a pit bull to a leg. Loucakis, a known criminal who is now restricted to an ankle monitor and a curfew, was questioned by the FBI and quickly dismissed as a subject. This wasn’t good enough for Nancy-I wasn’t aware of her extensive training at Quantico. She brought on an expert guest who pointed out how it is possible to “beat” an ankle monitor. Clearly something the FBI didn’t take into consideration. I really have to thank Nancy. After this truly compelling interview; I was able to fall into a deep sleep.

I woke this morning suddenly aware of why Hannity and Grace chose these much sought after time slots. They have been sent here to aid us insomniacs. Thank you Sean. Thank you Nancy. I can’t wait until tonight.